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Thursday, October 28, 2010

You Bring the Rolls

I am, regrettably, a last minute person. Procrastinating works for me...I love the adrenalin rush and get a thrill trying to make it under the wire. I realize, though, that just because I like waiting until the last minute doesn't mean it works for everyone else. So when we have holiday gatherings at my house, I do most of the cooking and seldom ask others for much. This isn't because I am a fabulous cook or I don't want their items at my dinner table---it's because I am too lazy to plan a menu until the last minute and don't want to impose on them to deal with my last minute decisions.
A recent conversation with a family member gave me an epiphany---my failure to incorporate others into my menu may have resulted in hurt feelings. My not wanting to inconvenience others because I wait so late to plan has been interpreted as "I don't want your food". The very person I'd wanted to spare of my last minute ways the most (because this person is a super planner who wouldn't be caught dead in a store the day before a holiday) may be the most offended; my assigning this person to bring the rolls may have translated into "your food isn't good enough".
This makes me wonder - how many times have my feelings been hurt or I have felt slighted by something that truly is a misunderstanding? On how many different occasions have I assigned ill-intent to something that may actually have been intended as a kind gesture?Probably pretty often. I have a tendency to take things personally and wear my feelings on my sleeve. SO --- I am resolved to work harder to give the benefit of the doubt, and not always assigning malicious intent to things said or done to me.
Bet you thought I was going to resolve to plan my holiday meals earlier and be more inclusive, right? Let's take one step at a time...old habits die hard :-)

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