Follow by Email

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Pull Your Dress Down and GET UP!!!!

When I was in sixth grade, my friend Crystal was at my house one day. Her dad had gone to McDonald's and he was bringing food for both of us as well as her siblings. We played in my living room and kept looking out of our big picture window. When his van pulled into their driveway, we went flying out my front door to run across the street (yes, I was a foodie even then). She made it across, but in my typical clumsy nature I slipped on the gravel in my driveway, fell flat on my face, and landed on my arm. I later learned that I'd broken my wrist. Rather than regain some sense of dignity, I JUST LAID THERE. As Crystal kept screaming across the street "pull your dress down!", I laid there ruminating on how much I hurt, how the little pebbles embedded in my hand had blood around them, how mad I was that my fall was delaying getting my McDonald's, how embarrassing, etc. etc. etc. I didn't care that my dress was all hiked up and anybody outside could see London, see France, and see Sandy's underpants---I was too busy wallowing in hurt. Finally she came back across the street and like the general she was, she yanked me up from the ground and helped me straighten out my clothes.

It dawned on me the other day that this has become a metaphor for my life. And that's not a good thing. Too often I have fallen flat on my face and then just laid there. I bemoan all the wrongs done to me, how my situation was caused by somebody else, yadda yadda yadda. I examine negative situations over and over and over again, wallowing in self pity and oftentimes bitterness. And I act like the calvary is coming to rescue me. Guess what? There is no brigade of horses on their way to rescue me. The only thing that comes of this negative behavior is my problems are compounded by the lack of attention given to address them. Things often are much worse because of a failure to address the situation. Failure to act and procrastination cause us to lose sight of solutions and sometimes result in further deterioration in an already bad circumstance.

As this year rapidly comes to an end, I have decided that I can't continue to live like this. It's great to have a Crystal in your life to grab you by the hand and yank you back to reality, but Crystal isn't always going to be around. So as I say good-bye to what has been quite a lackluster year, I am looking forward to a new year where I will learn to pull my own dress down and GET UP!

Monday, December 6, 2010

OK, I love my girl Oprah (from time to time she works my nerve, but I pretty much am a fan. Can't get with all the new age religion stuff, though. Girlfriend lost her mind when she said there are many ways to get to God. Last time I checked Jesus Christ was the only way).

ANYWAY, here's my gripe----lately she has gotten loosey goosey with the clothes. The girls have just been making too many appearances!! Did she fire her stylist or something? And it's not just on her show. The other night I am watching the news. I was so proud to see our dear Ms. O as a recipient of the Kennedy Center honor. Adorning her neck is the lovely, colorful ribbon bestowed to all honorees. But wait--what's that above it? Is that a cornish hen laying on her chest? NO---it's her breasts! Popping all out of her blouse. At arguably one of the most significant award ceremonies of her life, Ms. Winfrey doesn't have the sense enough to dress with enough modesty to reflect her name without giving away her social security.

Alas, she is only following the way of today's society. And I admit that I need to be a little less dowdy, sometimes looking matronly though only 41. But really, we have an epidemic of cleavage that really needs to cease. It is time for women to put the girls back in their place, away from public viewing.