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Monday, January 24, 2011

Make Sure You Have Self Worth

Legendary entertainer Marie Osmond (of Donnie and Marie fame) was interviewed on the Oprah Winfrey show a month or two ago. She talked about the death of her son and though she wouldn't say a whole lot about her divorce, she did offer a bit of insight. Osmond stated "you marry at the level of your self esteem. Make sure you have self worth". She made the statement with such simple clarity yet their was a deep sense of pain and wisdom usually heard in the voice of a wise old sage.

In the weeks that followed I heard several similar statements. In the song I'm Doing MeFantasia sings about the value of self worth, warning against catering to the needs of lovers at the expense of one's self. Shaunie O'Neal (ex-wife of basketball superstar Shaq), in an interview in Jet magazine, talked about the loss (and regaining) of one's self worth.

So why is self worth important? Is it the new buzz word to replace self esteem? Are they the same?

No, they aren't.

Self esteem relates to how much you like yourself, and usually is based on things such as your looks, talents, etc. --- things which can change. Self worth, on the other hand, is about your respect for yourself--what you feel you are worth, how much you value yourself; what you feel you deserve. Truly understanding one's self worth can totally change a person's life. Once we truly understand our own intrinsic value and believe we are worthy of good things, we won't settle for anything less that God's best for our lives. How many bad marriages, poor relationships, unbalanced friendships, workplace mistreatment, etc. would we avoid if we understood our value as a human being?

How do you feel about yourself? What are your positive feelings based on? Are there things which you would like to change? Here's a challenge: take some time to think about your feelings about yourself. Evaluate your self esteem AND your self worth. Make a list of anything and everything that stands as a block to truly valuing yourself. Then, slowly but surely, take steps to attack each and every block. Let 2011 be the year to grasp all that is intended for you. At the end of the day make sure you have self worth.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

The Year in Review

Usually the last week of December is filled with television shows that review the biggest news stories of the year. I saw a countdown of the top videos of the year and I saw a tribute to all the celebrities who passed on in 2010, but I didn't see anything that reviewed big news stories for the year. Maybe this means I ran from reputable news and only watched television shows/channels that were strictly entertaining. Or maybe others are feeling like from 2010 and don't look back.

Don't get me wrong, I realize that I am blessed. I am still employed, I have a wonderful family that I love, I have a roof over my head, etc. etc. etc. But if I am not careful to stay positive, I can't help but moan about the fact that 2010 was filled with more than a fair share of negatives, including: several health crises for myself and family members, relationships with loved ones that were particularly challenging, stressful financial challenges, professional attacks that I have never before experienced , and great disappointment by two individuals whom I looked up to. So I am quite content to view 2010 from the rearview mirror.

This time of year I usually declare "this is going to be my year!". But it never is. So in order to achieve different results, I must do some things differently, right? 2010 has taught me the following: Guard your health - you don't realize you've taken it for granted until it wanes; cherish your family, but develop interests beyond them---the day may come where family members feel smothered and their assertion for independence will feel like rejection; get serious about finances, because financial distress effects so many areas of life; trust people but don't put all your faith in man, because man will fail you. My professional crises in 2010 taught me so much that I will have to share those lessons at another time. But suffice it to say that 2010 confirmed what I already knew --- have something beyond work to give you value.

Take one last look at your 2010. What lessons can you glean from your experiences to make the most of the new year?