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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Friends, how many of us have them?

I think it was Whodini that sang "Friends, how many of us have them? Friends, ones we can depend on...". I have gone through a long spell, feeling sorry for myself because I don't have a tight circle of close friends that I do things with, hang out, etc. Today as I was going to the car I was chatting on the phone with my friend Robbin. As I finished chuckling and hung-up I realized that I am more blessed with friends than I realized. A newly formed bible study group with women that I have had individual relationships with for years has resulted in whole new life to these relationships; I have relationships with women at work that have enriched my life. A former coworker introduced me to someone a few months ago and we hit it off instantly; I suspect that she will be a friend for life. When I reflect on why I don't have a close circle that go on trips or hang out and do things like other women, I have to be honest. The last twenty-three years have been consumed with parenting and being a wife; I didn't create time for myself and escapes to indulge in the benefits of friendship. In the midst of caring for everyone else, I forgot to care about Sandra. Also, my marriage and family status placed me in a situation where I don't exactly connect with friends from childhood because our circumstances are so different. I started a family at age eighteen---my closest friend from high school has a four and five year old, while my baby is fifteen. I am paying the price of my own neglect. So now that I realize that I cheated myself out of close, deep friendships with other women (and thereby cheated my daugthers from witnessing the importance of female friendships), I have to work to correct this. But again I smile, because while I may not have tons of friends, and I don't have girlfriend getaways, I do have a bunch of girlfriends that are there when I need them. I have the solid, sensible friend who is always going to give me sound spiritual advice. I have the tried and true friend who I may not talk to often, but we go back so far she isn't just a friend, she's family. I have SEVERAL friends who are my ride or die chicks, and every girl needs that. One of these is particularly precious---I have a standing commitment to meet me in the garage if it's necessary to give my hubby a tune-up. What more could a girl ask for?

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