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Thursday, December 29, 2011

What I Want in 2012: AUTHENTICITY

Well, I am STILL not ready to commit pen to paper with a list of New Year's Resolutions.  I know, I know, I only have a couple of days left.  But I want to be serious and thoughtful about what I promise to do because this year I am committed to really making changes in my life.  I cannot continue life in the same manner it has gone in the past, because I will wind up with the same results.  And more of the same is NOT an option.

One thing I know I want for next year is au·then·tic·i·ty  [aw-then-tis-i-tee, aw-thuhn-] -the quality of being authentic; genuineness.   I will actively work to to establish relationships which have reciprocity.  I will not be "fake", pretending to be OK with behaviors which are hurtful or don't serve me/my needs. 

So as the year rapidly winds down, my list of resolutions will be simple and manageable.  But insisting on realness (is that a word) will be integrated in my plans.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

"If you wanna be cha chee, be cha chee"

Well, I am still not ready to make my new year's resolutions.  However, I have been reflecting on who I am and who I want to be in an effort to figure out what I need to focus on next year.  So you know what I want?  I want to be cha chee.  What's cha chee, you ask?  Well, it's hard to explain, but here goes---

Some time ago I was watching a t.v. show that featured people who had created amazing lives.  Many were creators of well known businesses or inventors of gadgets, things like that.  They were people who seemed to come out of nowhere and where catapulted to the lifestyle of the rich and famous as a result of their ingenious ideas.  I am so mad I can't think of the name of the show or remember what cable channel it came on.  But elderly lady was being interviewed.  She said to the interviewer "if you wanna be cha chee, be cha chee.  Life is too short".  Now this woman didn't explain what cha chee meant.  But you could figure it out from the context of her whole interview.  Her whole point was to not let life constrict and confine you.  She encouraged people to not worry about what others say you should do or who you should be, but live life based on who your own terms.  Cha chee kind of symbolized a vivacious spirit.  Remember Charo? was cha chee.

Now, I don't want that level of va va va voom.  But I'd like to be sexy before I am senile.  Bumping it up a notch would at least put me even with the vitality/sex appeal of umm, I don't know---Rosa Parks? And I want to reclaim that girl I knew decades ago who was fearless; my former self would be met with a challenge and take it head on.  And win!  I miss the bad ass who was on track to work for the CIA.  The gutsy girl who went to ISU five months pregnant and met every naysayer with a death stare cold enough to freeze hell over, managing to graduate ON TIME while raising a baby.  The one who used to be able to take a punch and and still remain standing. My kids never met her---they only know the doormat who traded her dreams for security (that's not so secure), lost her voice and allowed others to disrespect her (and them).

So, I think 2012 will mark my quest to be cha chee.  Here's my theme song:

Don't you want to be cha chee?

Friday, December 2, 2011

The Close of 2011

Well, December is here and yet another year is rapidly coming to a close. It's amazing how time seems to take forever when you are a kid, but goes so rapidly in adulthood. Remember how it seemed like Christmas would never come? Or your birthday? Now you look up and think geez---the year's almost over? Where did the time go?

So now that December is upon us, I can't help but think about the resolutions I made for 2011 and what I will make for 2012. Resolutions for 2011....what did I even resolve? Let's see---think, think, think---oh yes. One of my resolutions was to lose weight. Hmmm.....I can probably skip a few lunches and manage to accomplish that resolution before the year draws to a close. After all, I didn't say how much weight. So if I shed two or three pounds, I can scratch this off my list. (Ope, but I better do a teeny bit of exercise, since I will probably add a pound or two on Christmas day. After all, just the scent of Red Velvet cake causes my pants to fit a little tighter). OK, what else. I vowed to read more this year. Do the tabloids in the check out line count? I think so. Check yet another one off my list! I'm feeling pretty good now. I didn't realize how much I accomplished this year. What else did I say I would do? I know----I said I would take up a musical instrument. Darn, I can't say I did this. But wait! Isn't my clarinet still at mom's house? Sure, I haven't touched it in twenty-five years but what the heck. I will call mom tomorrow and see if she's seen the pieces around her house. I'll scoop them up some time next week and get busy re-learning how to play it. How hard could it be? I played from 4th grade through my senior year in high school; I am sure it won't be a big deal that it's been two and a half decades since I've touched it.

I am glad I took the time to review my resolutions for this year. I accomplished far more than I realized! I think I will go take a nap now. I've worn myself out just thinking about how much I did this past year. Hopefully 2012 will be as productive :-)