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Friday, May 25, 2012

"oh my gosh, I'm so fat!"

Even though I struggle with self esteem issues, I was surprised to make the realization that my weight is not a source of my insecurity.  I am overweight; have been since childhood.  Yet my weight only bothers me because of its impact on my health---I really don't care about a particular dress size, but I do recognize that I am winded far too soon and the least bit of movement knocks me for a loop.  HOWEVER, in the past few weeks I have found myself feeling more self-conscious about my size.  Why?  because my coworkers have launched an incessant barrage of conversation about their bodies and their weight.  OK, freedom of speech---I get it.  But I have reached my threshold---I have had it with women sizes eight and ten going on and on about how fat they are, how big their thighs are, how fat their behinds are, etc. etc.etc.  I don't care to hear another self-deprecating reference to being a fat cow or fat pig.  If that is how you view yourself, how are you judging me?  If you believe your size eight body is that of a fat cow, how do you describe my size twenty frame?

Shutup already.  Spare me your complaints about your thighs rubbing together and your "oh, I hate my [insert body part]".  If there was any hint of sincerity in your whines, I would be sympathetic.  But there isn't a glint of any real feelings of insecurity; just mindless chatter to elicit a response from some good natured person who will say "oh you look great, you're not fat!".  Mission accomplished, right?  The next time you refer to some well toned woman as a skinny bitch, look in the mirror!

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